NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

Well… last year I had resolved not to make no resolutions… slight change of plans this 2007!

Resolu-shun 1: EAT EAT EAT

Ever since I landed in Chennai around July last year, thanks to my hostel that specializes in mixing sambar with water, rasam with water, lassi/more with water (note: lassi = curd + water) and water with water, I’ve lost four kgs...For Lalli, that ain’t an infinitismally small quantity… So… I promise to down adai no matter how black n ugly it looks, that hopelessly hopeless overly boiled carrot and raw brinjal curry… (I also resolve to manslaughter the pea-brain who even came up with this idea of mixing the two), oh and even that payasam… no matter how charred it smells and tastes…

Once a week I’ll hit:
my aunt’s house and fill my belly with gobi
the ice cream parlour and lick crunchit chocolate
Seenu’s juice joint and have lime, orange and pineapple back to back

Resolu-shun 2: DROWN MY LAZINESS IN COOUM

I will not trouble Sathish a.k.a Fatty, Deepak a.k.a Praveen, at the cyber centre by asking them to take print outs at 10 in the night. I will not roam around the gullies of W.Mambalam and T.Nagar at 10.45 pm for spiral binding. I will be a lot more organized and not put off my assignments to the last minute and give everybody from the warden to the watchman a cardiac arrest by vanishing from the hostel.

Resolu-shun 3: GET A BOYFRIEND

Now what were you thinking..?! For me..? No way..! Get a boyfriend for my Tambram roomie… In that way, she will not whine over her 21 futile years of existence in the morning, afternoon, evening and night..! Ho.. and no Jayaramans and Ramakrishnans..! The closer he is to Goa, the closer he will be to her heart..! Ofcourse I’ve told her, “No guy, No cry!” H.m.m… all those don’t work..

Resolu-shun 4: NO CHICKEN-WATCHING FROM BUS-STOP

I love bus stops on busy roads for the obvious reasons… Specially minutes before the xams when my eyes are scanning 180degrees in search of those rare cute guys in bikes… and I end up screwing my paper most of the time… Such transient distractions with permanent damage to be avoided…

Resolu-shun 5: SLIPPER INDECENT ASSHOLES

Men… please do not make me start hating your community… specially those aboard crowded buses … Frankly, those in their 20s are chivalrous and civilized… I am vexed with those beyond 30, those assholes who are frustrated with their wives and think every other woman as their wife… if any guy acts funny with me, I’ll remove my slippers and belt him, kick him in that region… and howl and bring the roof down… Else I’ll carry spurs and prick him until he bleeds to death… I intend to teach every fucking damned asshole a lesson…

Resolu-shun 6: PRACTICE THE ABOVE FIVE RESOLUTIONS RELIGIOUSLY!